Transformation: From Fears to Fearless
“No more sleeping love, no more sleeping bride. No more white washed tombs with the bones inside. Thereʼs a new breed rising with fire in our eyes. We ainʼt scared of nothinʼ ʻcause weʼve already died…”
I died a few times on my journey so far (or perhaps more)…
Once, I experienced a near physical death during a complicated labor and delivery of my daughter. All I remember is drifting off to a dark space that felt like a deep Earth hole. Noises of the delivery room were fading and the pain was alleviating. There was no fear but rather a feeling of an unexplainable peace. Then, all of a sudden…I woke up in a recovery room. As soon as I opened my eyes I knew that God must have granted me this precious gift of life for a reason. In fact, my journey was just beginning.
Throughout the years, I have experienced a repeated death of my acquired identity. Every time I allowed yet another false part of me to die, my heart was broken open. I felt free of judgement and vein thoughts, attaining a new lesson of humility and initiation into divine purpose. It was not pretty. At times it felt like part of me was being chopped off and my ego was hitting the fear button. I wondered why I chose this path and why I was doing this to myself but my heart knew all the answers. My inner voice was loud and clear: your transformation is a gift to yourself and to the world, what you are shedding is not serving you any good, you are returning to your true essence of love…
And then, there was a death of that part of me as a woman, that part that believed in Prince Charming and happily ever after. This one was hard to die and took almost 20 years to understand that I do not need to be saved from anyone or anything. I do not need any special condition to love someone. I do not need anything from anyone because I am already complete with love and divine inner gifts. I want come together in a beautiful union of love with someone while also honoring each other’s uniqueness and autonomy.
How do I transform my fears into peace? I connect with goddess Kali so strongly. Kali is the most mysterious, most misunderstood, and yet most powerful in Hindu spiritual teachings. Kali is eternal wisdom, that which can never die. She is life and death, warrior and lover, light and dark, fire and air. She is the heart of the feminine empowerment, counterpart of the masculine lord Shiva, of pure infinite consciousness. Kali is the giver of the highest transformation and self-realization. She brings peace into chaos and destroys what is not true for us. Kali teaches us that what is true in our heart, can never die.
There are powerful Kali practices that can help when we are going through life’s changes and the process of transformation:
- rapid pranayama breathing
- Kali yantra gazing
- Kali mantra chanting
- body movement
- guided meditation
- community support
Are you ready to connect with the energy of transformation? Are you ready to face what is ready to die in your life so you can be brought closer to peace?