The Art of Letting Go

It may sound like a form of weakness but according to Taoism and how the universe works, we can approach life more efficiently by going with the flow rather than swimming against it.   Therefore, letting go is the strength based on sophistication rather than force. Letting do is allowing the nature to do its’ work and there are ways of practicing letting go.

Non-doing

When we take a closer look at ourselves, we notice that a sense of control prevails in many areas of our life. We feel the need to control our partners, children, pets, job, and future outcomes.  Control is necessary to a certain extent to ensure our survival and self-control is vital for our growth and personal development. However, too much control can be damaging to the natural unfolding of our path. For example, physical attraction is a natural phenomenon beyond our control that cannot be forced. Instead, it has to grow with time or erupt spontaneously. Too much effort or action on our part can ruin the natural flow of attraction.  Therefore, letting go is vital when starting a new relationship. By letting go, we give space to the forces of the universe to unfold.  Also, when trust in relationship is breached, we cannot force the restoration; it has to grow back naturally depending on the dynamics of the relationship. So, letting go makes the difference between controlling and allowing.

Embracing change

Going with the flow. Life unfolds in a constant movement between the opposites: high and low, light and dark, yin and yang.  There is not much we can do about it and the most efficient way of living is simply moving along with the waves of existence.

The change in life is constant and inevitable and yet so many of us cling on to our circumstances despite being unhappy. It feels like holding on to the rock, afraid to let go, and to allow the river to carry us because we do not trust the universe to bring us where we are supposed to be.

Most common consequence of this is rigid lifestyle, missed opportunities for positive change, and the perception of life just passing us by.

“The living are soft and yielding; the dead are rigid and stiff.

Living plants are flexible and tender; the dead are brittle and dry.” Lao Tzu

Non-resistance. Then, there are those of us who swim against the stream. Exercising constant resistance can lead to a burn out and misery. It is the non-acceptance of reality and how things are that cause us to fight against our own selves, not following our strengths but instead waiting time trying to fix our weakness.

Letting go of excess. Adapting to change is also discerning between usefulness and useless, letting go of what we no longer need. For example, in New York City having a car is not a necessity because everything is within close proximity while in the suburbs it is useful since things are farther away.

Not focusing on outcomes

Focus on the outcomes has a negative effect on us.  We can become anxious trying to control the future result instead of relaxing into the experience of the present moment. 

This principal can be applied to the performance anxiety during sexual connection when we focus too much on achieving an orgasm, failing to experience pleasures and sensations of the actual lovemaking. When we let go of the outcome, lovemaking becomes a beautiful dance of two bodies that flows and dances itself.  

In love alive,

Irina Devi